Hi All, So here it is finally.

Blog entries on my SIFE WORLD CUP trip to Europe.

Lets start with preparation. Preparing for SWC was a nightmare. Very time consuming and so many problems to solve. H1N1, CEO presentation and cultural fair was just some of the things. Nevertheless, we got through all of it and it was time to leave to Berlin. Even on the day we were suppose to leave (2nd Oct), I was trying to settle the hostel issues for post world cup holiday. The sad thing was Reubs could not extend his trip.

On Children’s day, I met up with some my classmates for dinner and then Elaine had to go off. So the others went to chillax. Here are some of the pictures:

On the 2nd, I had dinner with Jun Yi at the airport. Dinner was at one of our favourite places: Secret Recipe. It was dam nice of Jun Yi to have dinner with me before I flew off. And I owe her big time for paying for the meal. Probably, dinner or lunch after her exams.

After that, Gudiya and Mustafa came to see me. They met Jun Yi and ate some curry puff thing. I then send Jun Yi off and went to meet the SIFE team, lecturers, Komathi and my family. We then checked in and made our way to the flight. It was one long journey ahead of us. I was sitting behind Isma and beside boy.

The flight took off after some time, since we went in rather early I think. And so, our SWC journey began.

Our destination was Amsterdam.

Note: Next Post will be about what happened in Amsterdam and flight to Berlin.

He smiles, I cry.
He’s brave, I’m shy.
He loves, I’m alone.
He’s amazing, I’m unknown.
He’s beautiful, I’m a mess.
He’s happy, I’m depressed.
He’s a fake, I am real.
My mask is perfect, he hides me.

Here is a video I made recently:

My Video on Facebook

First things first, the person I am talking about in this post is not the same person as the previous post.

I know that I played a role in it ending. I know I did made many mistakes that lead to the end. Many out there did say and still continue to say that I never deserved you. Maybe, maybe not. Well, they don’t know everything about us. Everything we shared and everything we went through. I have accepted that I made mistakes and I have learnt from it. I have even apologized for the mistakes I did. Something I rarely do. I never held a grudge against you. I am not upset that things ended and they we are not together. However, things that have happened with you is rather saddening to me.

Take a look at yourself. What have you become? You have changed in so many ways. You are no more the person that I knew. I remember the type of people you used to hate. Now, you seem to be surrounded by those and only those type of people? If these were people that are essential for your existence then I won’t be saying anything. But they are not. Well, I am no one to say that you cannot mix around with these people. But look for yourself what you have become because of that. You were way smarter than me. You went to a school way better than I am at now. What happened then? What happen to that dream of yours of becoming a doctor? I always wanted you to be one. Just look at where are you now and what you have become. I was never expecting this from you. Turn around and look at what caused all these. Wondering how come I know so much? I have always checked on you. I always wanted you to do fine. You have this special place in my heart which will be very difficult to be replaced by anyone else. The bond that we shared. It was more than just special.

Those I mentioned above are very academic. You still can make amends now so its not too bad. What worries me more is your changed attitude. Relationship was something you have always take seriously. I don’t see that happening now. What happened? I still have all your letters to me. I do read them from time to time. The change I see from the letters to the present you never fails to amaze me. I guess maybe its fine if you are not serious about what you are doing. But you are seriously playing around. I don’t think that is very good. What happened to all those good morals and values you had. Think about it. I do not know what caused this change in you but it is definitely not for the better. I really do hope you rethink about what you are doing.

One good thing to note is that not everything has became worse or bad. I see that you are closer to your family and all that. I have also learnt quite a few things from you. I now have much closer friends unlike last time. I spend much more time with my family now. Most importantly, I have eradicated the “hate” thinking. I guess you will be the only one to understand what the “hate” thinking means. I seriously hope things will change to some extent. I just want to you let you know (though you might not read my blog) that you have a special place in my heart and I will always be there when you need me. I am happy that at least now we talk to each other in a much better way unlike last time. I wish you all the best in the future and sincerely hope you do very well.

Hoping for the very best for you.

First things first. The following post is not about my ex-girlfriend.

I think it is finally time to address this certain issue. Until now, I do not know what went wrong. I have tried asking you many times but the answer always was nothing. And I decided to give up. However certain things in the recent weeks have actually reminded me of the relationship we had. I have actually always enjoyed it. I always wanted things to remain that way. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be. With the things happening around me, I am starting to miss you. The list of things that I was forbidden from doing. I still remember the things I was not suppose to do. The list of things that I had to do everyday. I remember these things clearly. I should always tell you when I am down. I should always say goodnight to you before I sleep. I should always sleep by a certain time. I had all the rules written on a piece of paper and the paper was in my wallet. I want someone to implement such things on me again. Even if there was someone else, it won’t be like you.

Images of things we used to do flash in my mind over and over again. I don’t about you but I was always happy around you, having lots of fun and enjoying myself. You were the person to whom I told that sad news first. You cried upon hearing it even when I was strong. The first movie that we watched together? Remember that? I still do remember. Remember the other movie we watched during the holidays? I still do. Do you remember what you do whenever we are studying? How about the breakfast? How about the morning to evenings of studying? How about the messages I use to send you whenever I was down. I still can remember by heart one of the messages you send me.

If things were still the same, I would have already went to bed by now. I would not have ate dinner after midnight. I would not even be writing this post. Maybe this blog would not even exist. What a difference you would have made in my life. I know that according to the cycle, you are suppose to leave but I wish you never did.

From what I know, I never did anything wrong to make you leave. From what I hear, it was all fake. It was all for something in return. I have yet to fully accept that because deep down I still believe that it was not all fake. But now that all has happened, what do I say? What do I do? I know you do not read my blog but I want you to know that I miss you and the relationship we had.

Only if things were the same…

Either it was something
Or nothing!

Either it was a glass full to the brim
Or a deception of a full glass- really EMPTY

Either it was love as never seen before
Or it was lust dirtier than ever.

Either they were naive hearts
Or were the dirty minds?

Either it was the brightest of the sunshine
In a high mountain village
Or it was scorching heat never seen before
As imagined in the hell!

Either it was the soft soothing touch of love
Or it was the hard coarse drag!

Either it was sweet beautiful smell
Of fresh bloom
Or it was the rotten stinking
Odor of sort

Either it was blessing
Which came for a moment
Or it was the curse
For both of us

Either it was a powerful storm
That could’ve swept minds and hearts alike
Or was it a selfish feeble need
Which only makes one’s soul weak

I still wonder
What was it
That we had!

To: All the nice and not so nice people on earth.

Finally I believe in Humanity again. After all that has been happening, I have been wondering if humans do actually exist on earth. An incident on Friday made be belive that humans do actually exist.

This post is actually dedidicated to the team of Ben, Lai Ting and Wan Ting. Some time back, I found them an entrepreneur to conduct an interview with for their poject. They actually bought me a t-shirt to thank me for that help. I was rather amazed. I have done much bigger things like trying to educate people , teach them some things and share my knowledge. However, I was never apprecaited but rather put down. Not that I expect them to appreciate it. I only expect humans to appreciate such efforts. Since I was doing all that to inhumane people, I expected nothing. I am not upset or sad that I was rather put down. Who actually cares about such people. When I actually do have humans around me, I do not exactly need to worry or even bother about such “people”. However, these Ben and group actually appreciated such a small things I did for them.

I would like to take this chance to thank them for the ‘wonderful’ t-shirt they bought me. They will know why it is ‘wondeful’ and not wonderful. Haha…

I am not saying that these three are the only people who make me believe that humans exist. But this is just one incident. There many other friends of mine who are more than what I can ask for. For example, NetSchool people consistsing of Shayenne(CEO), Melissa(COO) and Sasikumar(CTO), TJC Friends like Jun Yi, Long time ago friends like Komathi and many others.

Yesterday, we had our first NetSchool Hangzout at FC 6. NetSchool actually got hang out before. Just that it has been 3/4 or 1/2 of NetSchool. Haha. Finally, we mananged to get the whole team. We have also planned for the next official hangzout. It is going to be after Mel’s exams. She finishes the last. Sobs. I actually realize that NetSchool takes up my whole life. Not just in terms of workload and all. But my entire life. For example, my school life and work is filled with NetSchool and NetSchool people. My social life(if you consider that I have one) is also kinda filled with NetSchool people. Is it suppose to be good? I don’t quite know but I kinda quite like it.

Finally, today my social life was outside of NetSchool. Haha. Komathi happened to be coming to Clementi and since I am in school doing work, I decided to go eat lunch with her.  We ate at Botak Jones and talked about things. Was updating her on the previous two women. Haha. The first one has been good. She has always had a special place due to the super long relationship we share. The second one is a bit the gone case. Just simply being a bitch. Well, I suppose bitches will always be bitches. Just like some others which I happen to know. We were also talking about the stupid SIET interview. Only after my interview did I find out that she also went. Haha. The inteview is dam waste time. It was at 10.40pm and lasted like 10 mins then they ask stupid questions. Haha… But what to do, the award a bit the lucrative. Haha.

Now, I am in the EIC to study for ESB test on monday. That is like the stupidest module. Its only 2 credits and we have t submit like three reports, 1 presentation and 1 test for which we must read lecture notes, textbook and watch videos. Its like WTF can…

Next week is a rather happenig week I would say.

Monday: ESB Test, YES! Startup preparation, Lunch with Keith, Psycho meeting

Tuesday: Nothing so far

Wedensday: Preparation for YES! Startup presentation

Thursday: YES! Startup presentation, Psycho preparation

Friday: Psycho presentation

It does not look like much but its good enough to keep my dam busy the whole week.

After that will be exams. Elaine was talking about dinner on the last day of exams. Yet to confirm. I must also make a surprise visit to Jun Yi at NTU after exams. Before that must find a good place to eat. If anoyone know a good place to eat that is near NTU, please tell me. Thanks people.

Now that I have finally typed my thoughts out. Its time to post and start studying for ESB.

Ciao.

What else can I do other than hope?

Tamil Version:

aavathum pENNalE, azhivadhum pENNalE,
manidhan vaazhvadhum peNNalE, avan veezhvadhum pENNalE

Translation:

Created by women, destroyed by women,
Man live because of women, he goes to waste because of women

You are not who you are.

You are my hero.

Though I may not have told you,

I have always seen you as my hero.

To see you like that, it aches.

What can I do?

Nothing?

But you will always be my hero.